February 24

It has been so long since I have written you. Partially because nothing has too new has been happening, but also because we have been super busy just doing the normal stuff.

The most recent updates:

It looks like we might receive Medicaid this week! Turns out our MDCP caseworker didn't file back in December like she said she did--I suspected all along. But our application is being expedited so everything is going to work out fine. Still, I am writing letters and insisting on a new caseworker!

You are still only a tiny 11.6 lbs. Haven't gained an ounce in the last three months. You need to get on that Sweet Pea! You are almost 9 months, and this is the age we were shooting for to do the cleft palate surgery. But you have to weigh at least 15 lbs, so it will be put off until you get to growing!

Today we did a swallow study at TCH. However...it wasn't until after that I started to realize I went about it all wrong. I have been preparing you the last couple of days for this test by doing all your exercises extra--playing with your mouth a lot, practicing drinking .5 mls at a time, holding you in the feeding position, and stretching out your neck. You are so averse to something going in your mouth, I was afraid we wouldn't even get to put the barium in your mouth before you would vomit. So when the time came, I slipped the syringe into the side of your mouth and distracted you with your favorite toy, your singing reindeer. You swallowed like a pro and we got images of several good gulps. They gave you the go ahead to start practicing drinking small amounts of a thicker fluid. It wasn't until we were finished and you were back in your stroller that you started to cough and gag on what was left in your mouth. Your face turned red, you sputtered, and threw up. And that's when it dawned on me. I know you can swallow--I watch you do it all day involuntarily. You never drool, not even really when you are teething. My concern is when you are forced to swallow and you panic--that's when I am not sure which way the fluid is heading. So instead of trying to get pictures of you at your best, I should have let you do your worse. That way I would known not to worry when the inevitable happens and you choke. I wasn't even very hopful to get the contrast in your mouth--I never expected you to handle it so well! Live and learn; we will be prepared next time.

Still no eye surgeries planned. I cancelled the contacts thinking the surgery would happen any day. And now with the Medicaid on the way I might as well wait so they will pay for it. But I wish you could see me! I can't wait to see the recognition on your face when I walk into a room, or for you to reach out to me when I am near.

That's about it for now! Mama has been sick these last couple days. It is so hard for me not to be in your face, kissing you all the time. I especially miss our early morning cuddle time. You are just the cutest thing--I probably tell you a dozen times a day how beautiful you are.