Tuesday, December 23, 2008

December 23

I want nothing more than to write you today with good news from your surgery. Instead I am so disappointed to tell you that your surgery for yesterday was cancelled, again.

We were supposed to have been at the hospital at 6:30a. So Daddy and I woke up, got everything together, and were saving you to pack up last. At 5:40, right before we were about to get you out of bed I felt the need to call the hospital with a question. Daddy did it for me and that is when we were told your surgery had been cancelled and to call Dr. Feldman’s office. We double checked that our surgery would not be happening at 7:30a, so we went back to bed until the office opened at 9:00a. All the while we were hoping it was a misunderstanding and somehow we would get working in later that day.

About 11:00a I received a call back. Insurance had denied our claim once more. Apparently when our insurance year started over in November, it changed so that it no longer covers any sort of glaucoma care. Dr. Feldman’s surgery scheduler had left a message on our home phone Friday afternoon asking us to call her back. We never use that phone, so we didn’t get the message until Sunday and at that time there was no one in the office to call back. A surgery can’t be pending over the weekend in case someone else needs that OR spot, so they cancelled the surgery until we worked out cash prices. And this time finances aren’t the only reason the surgery was cancelled. Dr. Urso has to submit his paperwork showing he meets Memorial Hermann’s surgeon reqs before he can operate there. So I am grateful we called the hospital, because I would have been extra cranky if we had schlepped all the way down to the medical center for nothing.

If I had known on Friday that the surgery was cancelled, I would have done several things differently. I wouldn’t have cancelled your contact fitting last week. I was advised with her surgery so soon it would be best to wait until after, because we have to pay for the fitting and contacts out of pocket. If something does need to be done about your glaucoma, it would change the shape of your eye and require a new fitting. Now the surgery will be January 12 at the soonest and I am willing to risk being out of hundreds of dollars in order to get some sort of lenses on you. Your glasses aren’t doing you any good and this is getting ridiculous. I could have ordered the contacts 5 months ago, but we keep getting strung along with the surgery. I am afraid if I don’t get the contacts now, January 12 will be cancelled again and I will have regretted putting it off again. So I am going to schedule the next possible appointment.

I also wouldn’t have stayed up the night before making Christmas treats for your surgeons and their families. I wouldn’t have cancelled your appointment with your pediatrician Monday morning so that your immunizations could be updated. And Daddy wouldn’t have taken the day off work (although I am glad he did!). But most importantly I would have had you dedicated at our church’s Christmas Eve service tomorrow night. It would have been a great night to do it for so many reasons, and we have been waiting for so long.

I am sad that you are 6 ½ months old and you still can’t see anything. I am sad that you are 6 ½ months old and you still can’t hold your head up. I am sad that you are 6 ½ months old and you still haven’t been dedicated.

But I have to keep telling myself that God’s timing is perfect. He knows what our needs are and has never left them unmet. I just would love for us to see eye to eye on this one.

It was about this time, on this day 13 years ago that my Poppy, your GreatPoppy died. I so wish that you two had met on this side of heaven. He wouldn't have been able to resist you.

1 comment:

Annie Tanner said...

You probably don't remember me but my name is Annie and your Poppy was my cousin. I just wanted to say that he would of been so proud of Audrey and you. I keep Audrey in my prayers & I hope one day I can meet her.