Grow up throw up!

Ugh. You have been throwing up so much lately. What’s up with that?? Three weeks without getting sick was enough to make me think we had crossed a threshold into a vomit free (or at least less vomity) life. And here you pick up, right where you left off. Nothing has changed in your diet. You don’t seem to be sick. I have no answers. And also no sleep because we have to suction you so often throughout the night. Today I am super frustrated with SLOS.

Seriously, nothing makes me crankier than bolting upright in bed at midnight hearing you wretch, or choke, or whatever it might be. Throwing off my covers while simultaneously smacking Daddy to wake him up, saying just one word, “Audrey!” RUNNING down the hall, fumbling with your suction, trying to focus my eyes so that I put it in your mouth and nose rather than poking you in the chin or eye. Watching Daddy stagger in the room 30 seconds behind me and having to ask him to turn on the lamp--once, twice, three times--because he doesn’t wake up quite as quickly as I do. Asking Daddy to take over while I go to the bathroom, and then doing the same for him when I come back. Calming you down, wiping your face and hair clean, changing your diaper, clothes, blankets. Lurching back down the hall, collapsing into bed where I lay seemingly forever with my mind racing while you whimper in my ear over the monitor. Drifting back to sleep…just in time to start all over again an hour or so later.

Daddy and I learned a long time ago this was a task best done together. We tried taking turns…me during the week and Daddy on weekends. We tried taking turns throughout the night…“I’ve got this one if you’ve got the next.” But experienced has proven that there is something about having the other suffer next to us that preserves our sanity.

One thing I should say clearly--I am never frustrated because of you. Frustrated along with you and frustrated for you. And obviously (selfishly) for me. Which is absurd because really, you are the only one actually suffering. You are such tough stuff, it’s unbelievable.