June 23

What a sweet girl you are. I love spending the day with you, just holding you and watching you while you sleep. It is the best feeling ever when you hear my voice and turn towards me and I know that you know it’s me. You make the cutest face when you are trying to “see” me and I look forward to those times when I see even the littlest bit of your precious eyes. Daddy and I are so anxious for you to have your cataract surgery, but the priority now is your digestion.

Right now you are taking 15 CCs per feeding. Our goal is at least 45-50 CCs. Tomorrow we are meeting with an occupational therapist (OT) who will help us figure out how to best get you to take a bottle, and maybe eventually nurse. You were willing to take a bottle before your feeds stopped last week—it was very slow, but you did it. Slow we can handle.

This evening you weren’t your usual quiet self. Lots of fussing and crying—well, maybe not lots compared to other babies, but lots for you. When Daddy leaned over to talk to you and give you kisses, you smacked him right in the face. Oh, Mama thought that was funny! You must have been hurting still from your surgery—that and you threw up several times. Not just a little baby spit up, but it came from deep in your belly and you made some pretty big sounds for such a tiny person. I have never believed people when they say they wish they could take someone’s pain for them. That has always sounded like a cliché and probably an exaggeration to me. But now I understand…I would throw up all day if it meant you didn’t have to. You are such a trooper and always in such good spirits considering the circumstances. I can’t wait to get you home.